Good morning blog fans – including, hopefully, my friend and last night’s dinner partner, Georgina. Hi George!
I am in an exceptionally good mood this morning, which I partly attribute to my daily dose of Journey/Poison/Styx and co.
What shall we talk about today? The Presidential elections and possible assassination attempts? A possible new cold war with Russia? (With global warming, would it be called the ‘Slightly Less Cold’ War?) A possible plot to kill Gordon Brown? (Just one, you say?)
Actually, apart from the collective work of Journey (click here to begin your musical education) and the theme tune to ‘Diff’rent Strokes’ (this is what i’m talkin’ about, Willis) there has been one small thing on my mind – distance.
Now, the world don’t move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, might not be right for some. It really does take Diff’rent Strokes to move the world.
Ah… fuck it. I can’t fit the theme tune lyrics into today’s blog. Extra points if you noticed I was trying.
I’ve been thinking a lot about distance recently; mostly because it’s something I’ve been deliberately keeping from some people I consider very close to me.
Post-process, our group set up a mini-website – a place where all the members could gather to muse, to vent, and to maintain the levels of confidentiality enjoyed at Florence House. At first, there was a very steady stream of outpourings of emotion as we all went through our ups and downs – myself included. The support was invaluable.
Things have calmed down, and it looks as though people are adjusting to ‘the real world’, which is of great comfort. Occasionally, someone will post that they’re having a shitter of a day, or that the world around them is crumbling, and people are as ready as ever to offer help, solace and understanding.
But I will admit – I have been avoiding it recently. I am still in touch with my group through various means, but there is something inside me which is telling me that, right now, I need to go alone – not BE alone – just learn to deal with the ‘real world’ without the reliance on the others in the group.
We are armed with tools – tools to deal with the ‘bigger picture’, and tools to deal with what is sometimes the daunting prospect of just getting up in the morning – and I feel as though I have got to the point where I am sufficiently adjusted, and am happy to just ‘be’.
I realise that this goes both ways, and if I am to disengage myself from the site as I have been, I cannot expect to go trumpeting away and expect people to fall over themselves if I have a meltdown, but I am prepared to deal with that. Honestly, I feel as though even if the floor was to disappear and I was to sink into the blackest of holes, that the time has arrived for me to start using this platform I have created, and living in the scary world of consequence.
Please do not get me wrong, if there is EVER ANY way I can help my fellow process people, I will always go all out to do so, but, as we adjust and change in our own time, I feel as though my time to let myself free has arrived.
In other news, I have made a very important decision. After some deliberation, and a final experiment last night, I have decided to no longer eat Swordfish.
Until tomorrow, I wish you all good day.
Lots of love,
Closed Box
