Day 4: Bring On Ten More!

August 5, 2008

Good morning blog… erm… people!


Before I begin, I want to thank all of you who are tuning in to read my nonsense every day. Yesterday, we had a record-breaking 54 page views, and that is tremendously gratifying, and really inspires me to continue to write, even on a day like today when there isn’t a great deal to say. Thank you again – it really is very flattering that you would dedicate your time to read what I have to say. (nb – this may not sound like much, but I have given this address to 27 people total, so either you’re reading me twice, or I’m picking up readers somewhere)


And that includes my newest reader, Lorna – all the way from the US of A! Hi Lorna!


As I tend to do, when I know there’s a new reader specifically, I like to introduce them. So ladies and gentleman, I give you ‘The Story of Lorna and David’. I met Lorna online what must have been 4 years ago? 5? (Lorna, correct me on this) If I recall correctly, Lorna was a student here and I think I commented on a picture of her on MySpace, and it went from there. We arranged a night out, I bought her flowers, we kissed, and the rest fell into place. We were together a while, but I treated her the same way I always used to treat girlfriends – distant, uninterested, manipulative, with lies and deceit,  and I’d constantly push her away with ridiculous arguments about nothing just so she’d come running back to tell me I was loveable.


The thing was, I genuinely cared about Lorna; I always have done. She is as beautiful of heart as he is of appearance, (and that is significant) and though our communications have been sporadic since she returned to America, and normally, they were with some ulterior motive on my part, it was always underpinned by my desire for her happiness, and for her friendship. Unfortunately, for a time, I didn’t know how to show it the right way.


In the last couple of days, Lorna and I have begun to talk once more, and I have quite literally just sent her a second mammoth email in as many days, talking about my experiences on The Hoffman Process. I consider Lorna a friend, and it is a testament to her nature that she still considers me one also. Welcome Lorna, it’s a pleasure to have you here. Shame you’re not still on Facebook, though.


Anyway, yesterday was the day of self love – what did you do? I have a comments section at the bottom of this entry – some of you have left me some before – and I’d love to hear what you did as your act of loving yourself and appreciating just what fine, wonderful people you are.


I have confess that yesterday was the first day since Florence House (Lorna – I make a number of references to this place. It was the name of the house we stayed in during the process) that I have been truly bored. Work is creaking into an almost comatose state, as meeting dry up, and people disappear on holidays which make the very most of the civil services’ generous leave allowances.


I waited (and waited) with patience for the day to end, had a brief moment of disappointment when I suffered an unsatisfied urge to buy John Hughes movies (Pretty In Pink, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, etc at HMV, and then made my way to my (now old) therapist for a final session, with the explicit intent to use it as a time to say ‘thank you’ – it was her who said she couldn’t help me with conventional therapy, and pushed me towards the process. (Hoffman, Lorna)


I was actually VERY nervous going in, but I calmed quite quickly. I felt like I wanted to get something to show my gratitude, and after searching a book store for some time, I found these amazing art books about a number of artists – real coffee table sorts (book size) – and finally selected two, one on Dali and the other on Picasso. After a friendly chat with the lady there who was clearly bored out of her mind by the quiet day – and quiet in a bookstore must be borderline catatonic – while she wrapped the books for me, I made my way there, had my session, and presented the books. It turns out that my therapists owns a place in France mere footsteps away from a place Picasso himself used to own, and his name is inscribed in tree barks and walls – not by way of graffiti, Picasso was apparently a lot of things, self-advertising among others.


She then asked me to inscribe it, which, after wracking my brains I could muster no better than ‘To Rosalind, for saying ‘no’, a man who said no to convention’ and I promptly left, cursing myself the entire tube ride to my sisters as I came up with multiple, infinitely more poetic incarnations of messages that would have surely lived through the ages, and had me hailed as a master of language. Next time, I guess.


My sister, who has stolen my Nintendo Wii, had been frustrated at a night of playing Guitar Hero in black and white. Apparently, she could grasp the concept of colours and a plastic toy guitar, but not televisual wiring. After taking precisely 4 seconds to fix the problem, I was forced to watch as my sister stumbled her way through any number of songs she didn’t know – Guitar Hero really is easier if you’re a seasoned rocker like me – before I set her straight with some impassioned strumming to some rock classics. (And some less so)


A quick call from my father, who was returning from the gym with a friend, later, and my sister, father, his friend and I were enjoying tea (and apple pie, in my case) as the sun set on yet another day of light.


This morning, I feel fantastic. Though I didn’t get to sleep until very late, and last night was particularly trying in regards to my vow, (which is still going – just!) I am not tired, nor am I weary. I am excited by the prospect of speaking to friends, writing more mammoth emails, and the promise of a new day.


Perhaps your act of self love today can be a promise to yourself. Just make sure you keep it.


With love and light and happiness to you all

Closed Box


3 Responses to “Day 4: Bring On Ten More!”

  1. Lorna Says:

    David- I am so flattered for you to introduce me to your blog-world. I feel so famous in a cyberic way (yes, I just made ‘cyveric’ a word). I believe we met in… hold on- I’ll go check my journal- our first date was on August 25, 2005. I must admit, it does seem like eeons ago and a lot less like 3 years but more like 5. At any rate, 3 years later, a few bumps in the road, and here we are.
    I’m looking for my act of self love today. I actually did look at someone yesterday and thought to myself how much more I could love that person if I loved myself more… now, do you think there is a difference between confidence and self love? That is my question to you, my friend.


  2. David Levy Says:

    Does self-love not breed confidence, rather than being two seperate entities?

  3. Guitar lessons…

    Well said…

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