Space: The Final Frontier

August 12, 2008

Good morning my little bloggerinos!

 

And a very special and hearty good morning to Jackie and Marion – a belated ‘welcome to the blog’ to you both. So good to hear you read it!

 

You’ll have to forgive me, dear readers, and I shall explain why. Those of you that read yesterday’s blog will know that I didn’t really get too much sleep the night before last, and, much the same happened last night – I had a friend in need, and was on the phone (and I stress, it was an utter delight to be) until gone 1.30am.

 

I get up for work just past 6am, so you’ll have to forgive me if I drop a nonsensical word in here or there, or make the occasional spelling mistake. I am not as ‘with it’ as I would like today.

 

The theme of today’s blog is simple – give yourselves a break. Last night’s support meeting (more on this in a bit) was plagued by people who, and I hasten to add I include myself in this, have done wrong, or been in a bad situation, and really beaten themselves up about it. So, the rule of the day is simple – just relax. Last night, we did a mass check in, and my message was clear on all counts:

 

GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD, AND INTO YOUR HEART.

 

So I shall. Recently, I made a big decision with my heart, and allowed a weekend of loneliness and a subsequent slip into my intellect to compromise that, and allow all my old patterns and anxieties to sweep over me. So, today I’m giving myself a break, allowing myself and the person concerned a little space, and I’m going to stop intellectualising everything for once in my life. And, I’m going to eat a cookie. Just for fun, see.

 

Let me explain how my work day currently pans out, so you can fully appreciate just how fucking bored I am on a daily basis. I work what they call ‘flexi hours’, which basically means I can work whenever I like, as long as I do 37.5 hours a week. Any more, and it contributes towards yet more holiday time – I already get 33 days a year. Being that I don’t mind the tube, but can’t stand it when it’s busy, I work for 8 until 4 every day.

 

So, I normally get to work just before 8, and spend a good half an hour or forty minutes looking at football news on the internet, responding to private emails, and general tomfoolery and horseplay. Around 8.30 or so, I’ll begin to think about what to write in today’s blog if I haven’t been making notes on post-its from the day previous. I generally finish writing the blog at around 9.30, (10 if it’s a really long one) and I’ll generally spend time chatting to people I know from work by email, talking to my friend Alex by private email about football, and, once again, playing on the internet.

 

If I actually have any work to do – not that I do at the moment – it is generally done after I return from lunch at around 12.30pm. By 1pm, being that I am (a) a pretty fast worker when I need to be, and (b) there really isn’t anything to do, like I said, all is done, and I begin the countdown to 4pm until it is time to get out of here.

 

That really is my day. Sad, huh?

 

Last night’s work finished slightly earlier than normal – 3.30 – so I would have time to go home, go to the gym, have a shower, and then get to Patricia’s for our Hoffman support group, with time to pick up some drinks and flowers along the way.

 

Unfortunately, I spent quite a lot of time ‘pottering’, and barely made it – and, when I did, I was still sweating from my third day in a row (go me!) at the gym. I spent quite a lot of time waving a paper plate in my face to cool down when I got there.

 

It was great to see so many people there again – and I mean that in every sense. Yes, we all needed the support for one thing or another, and that’s nothing to jump through hoops about or anything, but we also knew this is the place we could get it; from these people. It is a wonderful thing to know that be you from Scotland, Switzerland, Liverpool, Chester, or a flat overlooking Regents Park; in that room (or indeed in the room in our minds) we are all one unit, each equal in measure and stature. In those moments, we are as we were in Florence House; united. And that goes for all of us – you didn’t need to be there to ‘be there’.

 

Tonight, I continue my reconnection work by seeing my friend Gemma – and I really can’t wait. It has been too long since I have sat down with her and put the world to rights.

 

So, until tomorrow, I hope the break you give yourself puts a smile on your face.

 

Yours always,

Closed Box

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One Response to “Space: The Final Frontier”

  1. Neil Manchester Says:

    Just for clarification:

    visceral Definition from Wiktionary,
    English
    Etymology: Historically having to do with the spleen, and related parts of the body (viscera) which at times were felt to be active in this sort of intuitive feeling.

    Adjective visceral (comparative more visceral, superlative most visceral)

    Having to do with the response of the body as opposed to the intellect, as in the distinction between thinking and feeling. Often described as intuition; cf. gut feeling, gut reaction.


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