Plea From A Cat Named Virtue

September 29, 2008

I am being chased.


I keep having this same dream, and it was only when I was half awake/half asleep on Sunday morning, having this dream again, that I realised its significance. I’m fairly certain I’ve had this same dream 3 or 4 times now.


Do you all know what ‘users dreams’ are? It’s basically when you dream about doing something you’ve given up, and the dream is so real that you wake up having experienced all the same feelings you did when you were a ‘user’. I get them about once every 3 or 4 months, and they normally involve me being around people doing drugs, and I wake up sweating with my heart beating so hard, I could swear it might burst out of my chest.


So I cannot decide if this dream I keep having is a variant on a ‘users dream’, or just some residual post-process feelings – perhaps to do with my dark side, or missing that depressive cloud.


The dream involves me feeling threatened, like something is chasing me or is coming – in my head, it is always a monster of some sort, of a catastrophic event. I find myself panicking and looking for a place to hide, and normally find solace in a bush, a group of trees, or something to that effect. It’s quite a short, but very powerful dream, and in the times I have had it – probably all within the last month or so – I have woken up physically scared.


I just can’t decide what it is my unconscious mind is scared of.


After (regrettably) missing Friday night’s Hoffman support meeting, Saturday was ‘Go Ape!’ day.



The day began with a drive down to Thames Ditton to pick up Dom, (and have a quick chat with Marcus) before making my way to Bracknell. (Is there a more English name for a town than that?)


After throwing some food down me – I was starving – we were strapped into harnesses, and given half an hour’s instruction on being constantly secured to posts, how to make all the drops were to endure, and how to generally finish the park’s 5 courses without killing ourselves – which kind of drove home the enormity of what were about to do.


The first, practice course, wasn’t too bad. Climb a rope ladder, walk across something, quick swing onto a rope net and then slide down a long rope until you hit some woodchips, hopefully landing feet first so you don’t get them all down your jeans, pants, and whatever else– which wasn’t so bad. (PS – I’m probably getting this all wrong)


Second course, much the same, bit more dangerous. Third course was when I kind of realised I’d done for the day. Part of the course was negotiating your way through a series of horseshoes, hanging by a piece of string. It took unbelievable patience, upper body strength, and sheer will to make it across – and I did the short version! By the time I got to the bottom of the course, having once again landed on my feet, and not in the woodchips, I was done. Perhaps I’m just too much of a city boy, but I was satisfied that I had ‘roughed it’ enough at that point, and the prospect of more climbing, swinging, dirt, sweat, and possible injury wasn’t really what I was looking for.


After watching the rest of the group make their way round the course, we settled for a quick bite to eat, and made our ways home – mine taking nearly 4 hours after getting caught in two lots of traffic. Tired and having seen enough of my car for one day, I made myself something to eat, and fell asleep at some absurdly early hour.


I must be tired, because today’s entry is RUBBISH! At least I get a longer sleep tomorrow, as it is Jewish New Year, and, as such, I am taking the day off. I may or may not write something, depends how much time I get.


So to you, readers, I wish you a good day. Tomorrow or Wednesday will bring a better-written blog, I promise you. Neil gets antsy if I don’t get these things up early…


Lots of love as always,

Closed Box



3 Responses to “Plea From A Cat Named Virtue”

  1. Neil Manchester Says:

    David- re the dream, have you tried an elevator exercise recently? I think dropping down a few levels might tease something out of this one.

    You didn’t do Go-Ape justice in your description, it was real daredevil stuff but just really nice to be a big kid again.

    And finally, sorry for being sniffy about your tardiness in posting daily blogs, please don’t allow my impatience to interfere with your thought processes- better to delay and produce the normal high quality. Not that today wasn’t good you understand…….

    And finally finally, for anyone out there who has ever been critical of this man, for the record and for what he did for us on Saturday, David Levy is a top guy!

  2. David Levy Says:

    Wait a minute… this is news! I have critics?!?!?!? You mean some people don’t like me?!?!?! Well. I. Never.

  3. longredcape Says:

    I’ve had dreams about doing drugs before, but I don’t think I felt the sensations of the drug. But still, weird dreams nonetheless.

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