Keeping Up With The Cohens

November 4, 2008

Good morning ladies and gentleman, good morning.


I wish to start, as I really should do more often, by thanking you for stopping by. For one reason or another, we had a big spike in readership yesterday, and a busy day with the comments, so I just wanted to say ‘thanks’ – the interaction is what keeps me coming back for another day.


I’d also like to thank someone who is rapidly becoming my favourite person in the world – you know who you are. Thank you for keeping me entertained all day yesterday! You have a great knack of putting a smile on my face.


Do you ever look at something, perhaps a quality in another person, and accept that you can never have it? It’s not envy, nor is it admiration – rather, it’s a realisation that a facet of your character means you’ll never yourself understand it.


One of the qualities I find most attractive is innocent charm. It’s one of the reasons I so love Meg Ryan’s character in ‘You’ve Got Mail’. She is so effortlessly charming, but yet, you know that it’s just who she is, and in no way is she deliberate or even aware of it.


They say ignorance in bliss – therefore, people who get on the tube with me every morning must be fucking coated in the stuff – but when you’ve seen and done as much as I have, this idea of innocence and naiveté kind of goes out of the window.


I wonder, as I begin to ponder some things – this innocent quality I so covet, am I too savvy and have my eyes been opened too much to ever attract such a person? Would a summer-dress, girly-girl ever really want to go out with someone with a past as sordid as my own?


Last night, I was talking to my friend Daniel about Alex (see yesterday’s post). It turns out that Alex decided not to continue with me because, after three dates, she couldn’t see us getting married. In lengthy email exchanges with Alex yesterday, it emerged that my hearty dislike of television – more specifically advertisements – constituted such a fundamental difference of character that seeing each other more would have been pointless.


It was about the time of this revelation that my disappointment with the entire situation somewhat subsided.




I explained this to my friend Daniel last night, and, once we’d finished laughing, I explained that actually, I felt really sorry for Alex – can you imagine the pressure she must be putting on herself?


But the situation with Alex has me thinking, about the kind of people I date, and what I am looking for. I have always gone out with women older than I, being that I don’t like bullshit – unless, and this is a historical thing, I have been the one bullshitting – I don’t like games, and I’ve always considered sex to be a significant chunk of importance in a relationship. I’m no sex fiend, I’m just a realist.


But, I think its time for a different approach. I think the first thing I need to do is stop dating older women. There’s nothing wrong with Alex per se, it’s just she, as I am sure many women her age are, is aware that the clock is ticking, and isn’t dealing with it well. Whether or not your clock is ‘ticking’ at 30 is virtually impossible for me, as a man, to understand.


About a year ago, even before I met my ex-girlfriend Lucy, I had come to a realisation about my religion – that perhaps I should be dating, or thinking about dating, Jewish women – something I had not done in quite some time, and even avoided.


Jewish women are fucking high maintenance, and the term ‘Jewish Princess’ is apt. Jewish society is often centred around money – who lives where, what clothes you wear, what car you drive – and, to me, it’s a repulsive quality. It’s something I could quite easily participate in; being that I live in a £7.5m house in one of London’s most expensive suburbs (this is used to highlight a point, not to show off. I don’t own even one brick of it) but I have always found the competitive side of Jewish society to be one of its more unattractive qualities. I want to know people for what they are, not what they project.


In speaking to my friend Daniel, the consensus seemed to be that this is just another thing to file under ‘Jewish Princess Activity’ – that Jewish women like to get married early, and, if they don’t, they take it personally. Very personally.


So I guess Jewish women are out for me for a bit. And it’s not because I don’t want to get married, or have kids, or any of that, and certainly not because I’m not thinking about those things.


I am really looking forward to one day getting married – in my opinion a wonderful expression of two people’s love for each other – and to hopefully having children, but surely this is something you share with someone, rather than go searching for, and try to apply to every person you encounter?


I am sure today’s blog has made no sense, and for that you have my apologies. In place of a clear conclusion from all that has just been written, I’ll provide a summary.






Lots of love,

Closed Box


PS – LRC, look what’s stuck to my screen…


10 Responses to “Keeping Up With The Cohens”

  1. brookem Says:

    hey- you changed your layout, yes?
    i came over here to comment and thought it was a whole new blog that i’d never seen/been to before. i read your little blurb over there about the hoffman process and am so wickedly intrigued that i need to sit my booty down and start from the vrey beginning.
    ps- i love meg ryan, and it’s not just because we share the same name;)

  2. David Levy Says:

    The layout has changed, yes!

    Thank you for stopping by – I look forward to hearing your thoughts 🙂

  3. longredcape Says:

    I did THE SAME THING yesterday, and I also took a picture of it!


  4. David Levy Says:

    Glad to know i’m such an inspiration! And did it work?

  5. Posteret Says:

    Great post! I think a huge amount of women get very focused on the marriage and children question, so much so that it becomes the first thing they think about when meeting a man. I pretty much bypassed all that by getting married absurdly young!
    It’s hard for men to appreciate though as they don’t have a time limit counting down in their heads all the time.

  6. Gemma Says:

    I am female, 27 and jewish. I suppose I should therefore feel offended by your post. As it happens I do not because I am defined by a whole bunch of other things too (eg child of divorced parents, commitement phobe etc) so I dont think much of it applies to me.

    I dont necessarily agree with what Alex has done but I dont think you are appreciating the fundamental difference between men and women in terms of reproductive biology. It is referred to as a ticking clock because for us, unlike for you, there is a finite time limit. If we do want children we cant just leisurely take our time and wake up at 39 and say, ok now I am ready, now would be nice. It is not a matter of wanting to get married young or wanting to keep our parents happy or wanting to fit in with our friends but quite simply a matter of if I dont make the right decisions for me now I may not get a second chance to correct them….it may be too late. Just try to imagine for a minute having 5 years from TODAY to find the right person and have kids because any later we are told it may be impossbile (chances of falling pregnant decrease by 5% each year after 30) – and chances of miscarrying go up from 12% in your 20’s to 50% in your late 30’S.

    It is not something I let take over my life and I wouldn’t stay with someone I wasnt in love with because it is now or never but if anything that attitude just makes it more important to make sure you are dating someone that you can at least see that potential with.

    Like i said, I dont necessarily agree with Alex but I dont think its fair to dismiss her situation as Jewish Princess wants to get married to conform and fit in…if she ever wants to have a family and she is 30 already she needs to be clear with herself and those she is dating on what she wants…


  7. David Levy Says:

    And as I said, Mrs ‘It’s In The Back Of The Car’: ”Whether or not your clock is ‘ticking’ at 30 is virtually impossible for me, as a man, to understand.”

    That said, I do appreciate the biological side of it – though I didn’t realise how bad it was, thank you for the figures – but I still maintain, and will continue to do so, that thinking that way after going out with someone 3 times is completely mental. I don’t care what clock is ticking. Talk to me about marriage kids, and clocks ticking when we’ve been going out 10 weeks, not together for 10 hours.

    That said, it could be that she just didn’t like me that much, and was using the baby clock as an excuse, which is absolutely fine…

  8. Gemma Says:

    It is in the back of the car!!!

    Mwah xx

  9. Wonderful post and a nice manual effortless to examine for certain. please share more of these top quality.

  10. As if she knows she should stop But just doesn t want to deal with the reality of it at that particular moment.

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